Tuesday, July 22, 2014

one foot in front of the other

Moving on
It isn't easy
Letting go
Even harder
Reminding myself of why i had to everyday
Hard to do when so much was right
Trying to stay in the present
The present is good, and getting better
Is it really the end or is this another chapter?
I don't know
All these things i have done
All the things i have gone through
They affected me
Can i be happy?
I hope so
Can i love the way i have always wanted to?
Will i be loved and accepted the way i have always wanted to?
I believe
I want to believe
I want to be full
I want to fix that which is broken inside of me
I want to forgive
I want to be forgiven
I want to smile on the good times, but for now i can't.
Now i have to live with these decisions
I will open up my life to a new day
I will love
I will move forward
I will not look back
Not now
Lest i crash
I give this to you God
Take it
Heal me, and help me live again
One foot in front of the other
One day at a time
Recogizing the beauty of now
Discovering
Accepting
Looking inward
Loving myself so that i can love
Today
Stay in today
I give it away
Take it

Thursday, June 5, 2014


Slow down. Try. 
Burning out like a comet.
Why do I do this?
You have time.
Trust yourself. Follow. 
Seek. For you, for yourself.
Don't give up the ship...
Not just yet. 
There will be a time and place, 
but it is not today. Not now.
Protect the road ahead.
Stay on it. Stay true.
Don't stop. No passengers.
Only fellow adventurers.
Time to find yourself,
Take your time doing it.
Time to get lost.
You really only know little.
What will tomorrow bring, 
You do not know.
So, why the rush friend?
Sit and watch.
Take it in. Enjoy this.
It's Okay.
It's Okay.



Sunday, November 10, 2013

best you not wake that which sleeps



the angst and pain are the fires that forged me
the hunted becomes the hunter
no small amount of grace to make him sleep
the heavy scars of deeply inflicted wounds serve to remind, not forget
you fools, the death that awaits you behind the door you beat on
the proud, cavalier tread heavy on the thin ice of vengeance
best you not wake that which sleeps
you disturb something that has no remorse, no fear, no limit 
blinding rage that burns hotter than the flames of hell
consuming itself and everything around it, consuming you
that which sleeps is from a time of war, a time of death...
that which sleeps only becomes stronger through the ages
it wishes to be left in peace, asleep, but lusts for death in its waking mind
longing to die whilst dealing out death, an honorable death
it is that which sleeps which you fools do not respect
you fools
best you walk silently and pass unnoticed. best you not wake 
that which sleeps.



Saturday, October 12, 2013

The circle is broken

This land cries, and the world with it. sanity is gone, peace is lost, balance thrown off, the path is wide.
i have "burn in" from another time, and i don't believe i'll ever find a way to fit in this time, day and age, this society. Blood in my veins has overpowered everything else in me to the point where the wolves are at each others throats all the day and night. Duality of man. Indeed. No amount of money is ever enough. No amount of effort ever gets a much needed rest. No justice in this lopsided camp. I'd have fought till the bitter end too...Chief Joseph lies under a slab of stone in the mid-west, never again in his life would he set eyes on his homeland. Only in death would he go home. None of us have been where we belong or fit since. Not those of us who are bound to this land. Wild at heart, free. You can't tame a wild animal. Cage it, and believe you have broken something in it, only to deceive yourself. Wild i remain, wild they remain. Touching on something in your deep. Free, wild? Without death to have to realize it? Oh what a day that will be....the best day on this earth, the last. The prairie unmolested, the mountains solid...color still beneath the earth, of no use to the residents above, as it should be. It was beautiful. The circle is unbroken.Wall street doesn't exist, or the White House. Smoke is rising from where I sleep. The water is safe to drink. I will, based on my merit, on who I am, not what I am in the scales of this world. I want you to inherit this struggle, and see. See. Have your eyes opened 'fore they close for the last time.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Indian Summer.....

Indian summer is always such an important time to me. I cannot explain how or why, but just one day to myself along the coast during this time of year does so much for my mind and spirit. A total reboot, recharge, refresh of all my senses, desires, dreams, hopes, all of it. I never really plan this day each year either, it just sort of happens, as if i'm called out there by an unseen force each year. It may be all in my head, and probably is, being the superstitious surfer i am. Either way, i count on it each year, so i can move forward, and this year coming is going to be a good one if this day was any indication....here are some images of my Indian Summer on Pacific Coast Highway 1, California...enjoy.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

dashed on the rocks...


Not like Moses came, in a basket down a gentle stream...
Not for you my son, you were born into a maelstrom on a listing ship.
All the while He was there, do you see?
All the while I've clung to you, and you've clung to me.
Make no mistake my son, much like I, you've been dashed from the start...
you know not now, that a mark's on your heart.
Bottle up life not, pour it out to Him...
Keep it not inside, keep it not within.
Son, I know, for there i've already been.
All around you, men will crumble, down on the first blow...
but not you and i, oh no. Cracked from stone, on we will go.
Made for a season, through the fire our steel. He's pounded us flat,
made for the kill. Sharpened in hurt, bent for His will.
I know it seems heavy, this world evokes wrath....
but you will be strong, you must be, for this path.
Man up son, play the part. I am not worried, I know you've the heart.
The times lay ahead, when they'll need men like us...
men of nerve, men who've suffered, men with angst, when we've only sought love.
We'll get our chance, we'll have our day.
The Lord's had to harden us up, so we'd make it all the way.
For in this truth, be thankful, be glad....for one day you will be,
when the rest have been had.
Look them in the eye, and plant your feet....
knowing you can square off with anything life throws you, anyone you meet.
Fear is our enemy, in that lies defeat.
We have no cause to worry though, He has them already beat.
He goes on before us, just keep on your feet.
Keep your chin up, don't look left, don't look right.
Don't you dare stop, don't look down, and keep Him in sight.
Don't feel like you fail me, I know you'll do right.
I push you hard, I press you, I won't let up, and there's a good reason why.
I want to be sure Son, that you're stronger than I.

Friday, October 21, 2011

The Tourist



Just passing through....
I'm packing light with a heavy heart.
They're waiting for me, and I'll someday be waiting for you.
Been given what i need, and not much else.
No lofty degree, no material wealth...
just my soul, my identity, and my bill of health.
I don't speak several languages, and i don't
tango dance.
I wear worn out levis, i don't starch my pants.
I don't belong here, I belong where i'm going...
just a tourist passing through, loving, admiring.
Sure, i have a job, but it's not what I'm for...
just a means to an end, till i'm called for much more.
Not the modern man, not like those in spades...
and i'd love you like they can't if given the chance.
just where i am, and that's where i'll be.
for some reason, in some ryhme....Lord knows I don't.
roads i would travel, but i can't and i won't.
If i stay on this road, and i follow his will,
my destination will be revealed. I know it will.
I travel alone, but I'd love you to come...
just pack light, for we surely will roam.
I can offer only this heart, for that's all i have to give..
but i promise you this, we will truly live.
On a leave of sorts, till the trumpets blow...
and it's in that hour, that you'll truly know...
why i cannot go where some men do, for the time is short,
and i've a job to do.